you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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