I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
