Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
