when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
