You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
