Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
