my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
