The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
