I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
