you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
