Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i need some magic done to my vagina
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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