There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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