yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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