we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize