I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You ruined the universe
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
