this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
