I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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