she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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