If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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