i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
