Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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