My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
