are you so shy because you have an std?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just high enough for therapy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
