All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Randomize
