You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
