I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
