Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do vagina's smell?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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