very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
