3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
