I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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