is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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