if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
