if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
