where does the pee come out of this thing
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
