you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
