At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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