My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
