At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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