HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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