drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
