dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
