Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
