OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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