i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
