I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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