So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
