69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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