But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
