Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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