i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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