Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
