Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
