New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
