just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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