My friends, they love my intelligence
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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