there's paper in my vomit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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