Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
