I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
