I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
