I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
