I heard we made out
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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