No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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