Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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