So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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