Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
