look no pants
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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