I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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