I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
