hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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